In Memory of David

In Memory Of David Barton...

Please keep this family in your prayers...

a dear friend...I worked with David over the years as a Christian Counselor...his wife and I were nurses and running buddies many years ago....

His death has been very devastating....

Please pray for his family....

I'm speechless at this time...

I Shall Know Him

I Shall Know Him

My boss said “Can you meet with me, I have someone special that wants to see you?” Well, sure after all, you are the boss --smile.

So my suspense rose. Who could it be? But when I saw them, I knew right away. And I will never forget this special family. They meant so much to me, and none of us will forget that special day when God Himself parted the Heavenly doors.

The daughter smiled, “It’s been almost a year.” The mom piped in, “Since we saw the ‘Joy.’” Their faces lit up with such amazing love and healing. I wondered if this day would ever come.

“Watch for the Joy” explains a story of an encounter from a journey Home last year with this family. A day when a piece of Heaven, a piece of Jesus stepped onto the Earth to receive His child. And those around witnessed His miracle.

Today, one year later, this family stands in awe of the miracles that continue to unveil themselves. His wife said to us, “If I had not believed in Jesus before, I sure do now. For when I saw my sweet husband's face aglow and his beautiful smile--when we witnessed the “Joy”, I knew he was seeing Jesus. Our lives have not been the same. We are better for having been where we have been.”

She continued, “We wouldn’t take our loved one back from his place next to Jesus for anything. He’s happy.”

The family presented us with a CD (as they are a talented gifted musical family) named, “I Shall Know Him.” The wife said, “It all makes sense now. For the smile that my husband displayed at his last breath was the moment he saw Jesus. And I have no doubt, he knew Him. “

And the day will come when “I Shall Know Him…” (1John3:2)

Ramblings of a Hospice Nurse

(Exodus 3:5) "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground."

The past week has been long, yet timeless. It is as if I have been walking in a place I speak of often--the "Supernatural."

I have to say, I am honored but I do ask, "Why me, Papa?" How could I be the one chosen to walk in these precious days with these dear people and witness their heavenly encounters as You prepare for their way home.

I had been with one particular patient for months. I had broken the cardinal sin (as I always do) and became attached to her. I fell in love with her. I went to her house every day for several months for dressing changes so this really gave us time to bond. And then the day came, she no longer recognized me or her family. But as I sat with her, she talked. She carried on a beautiful conversation.

It was of a beautiful love to come.

Her daughter came up behind me and said, "She is talking to my dad." He had passed away several years before. My patient had said that her husband had made a visit weeks ago and promised her that a white chariot would pick her up.

The next day, her white chariot came.



Yesterday, I was at the house of one of my families. When I say families, let me explain. I had a father and daughter on my service. The daughter was a friend of mine and her son is my son's friends. She had passed away months ago and now I have her dad.

Some days, the mom / wife is just breathing to survive. I spend a lot of time with her. So yesterday, I was with her and she had resigned to losing her husband now. As I stood over her and her husband, I said, "It is getting close and he will be with your daughter soon." Her husband has not spoke and acknowledged anything in sometime. He looked at his wife and nodded affirmatively.

My patients wife said, "Did you see that?" Yes. I did.

"God has given you a gift so that you can let him go." I said

"I will, I do," she said. And she cried. The tenderness of this moment could only be explained of that as standing on Holy Ground.


Yesterday, one of my peers asked me to see her patient. The husband witnessed our Savior to me!!


Are you standing on Holy Ground?

My Fathers Eye's...the story it will tell

She whispered in a very weak voice, "Come here" and her arms opened up to me.

I slowly walked over to her wondering what she might want or say. She was declining so quickly, it was breaking my heart.

"I met Him," as she embraced me with her arms. There was a long pause of silence. I was afraid to break the moment of tranquility. I had already sensed Who she meant but I wanted her to tell me. So I waited for her to speak.

Several minutes passed before she said, "I felt warm and totally at peace. While He, you know--God-- was here, I didn't hurt for the first time in a long time. I'm not afraid to go now." And the tears came--from her and from me.

The moment was precious and holy, so I was not about to disturb it with questions.

She then said, "I'm leaving soon." And so I nodded with a gesture of affirmation. She talked some more. I asked her what I could do for her and her family. And she just looked at me for the longest time with her eyes. I then saw her story.

It's in the eyes...

My dad did the same thing. Before he died, he talked to my sister and I. I will never forget his sweet eyes. How he told a complete story of love with his eyes. Tears trickled from his eyes as he tried to speak. He didn't have to. We knew. God spoke through our daddy's precious eyes.

I remember another story of a friend that took me in and taught me about grace. He told me of love, like diamonds in the sun the love sparkled, it was in his eyes. I sawJesus, there in his eyes. I was so humbled that He would meet me where I was.

I still am searching for my Papa. Somedays are sure enough easier than others and well, vice versa.

God reveals Himself through the eyes of others everyday if we look....

But what a day it will be when I finally stand before Him and look into my Father's eyes.

The story it will tell...

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes." (Rev 21:4)

He Now Breathes Celestial Air

“As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him.” (Matt 3:16)

I shared with you several weeks ago in a devotional, How Will I Die, about a patient of mine that I led to the Lord.

I want to share the rest of the story with you now.

James has been getting sicker over the past weeks.

Yesterday, I sat next to him and we just talked. It was becoming increasingly difficult for him to talk due to his disease. This was a man that had once spoke seven different languages and now, he could barely speak one. He humbly tried to communicate with his family and friends. He was so weak but during our visit, I asked him what he thought was going on with the progress of his condition. He said, “I don’t know.”

I don’t ever want to take away someone’s hope but I do not want to ever leave things undone either. So there was a period of silence.......

I finally asked, “James, do you still want to be baptized?”

He looked at me and said, “Do you think it’s that close?”

I took his hand in mine and said, “Yes, I do.”

He said, “Well then, let’s do it tomorrow.”

And so tomorrow came.

He had had a rough night I later learned. His mom had sat up with him most of the night giving him medicine and holding his hand. Things a mother would do. She told me that she told him over and over how much she loved him. She said, "I don't think he heard me." I told her that "Yes, he did hear you." And a tear trickled down her face.

I had received a phone call early in the morning asking me if I could come to the house because James was much worse. I decided that before I came, I would try, call the Chaplain and ask him where he was. He answered his phone and he was only two blocks from where my patients’ house was. (What a God-wink!) Our Chaplain was going to be able to meet me in 10 minutes.

When I arrived at the house, my patient responded to me. I introduced him to our chaplain. I said, “James, here is Alan our chaplain. I promised you that we would get you baptized.”

James nodded with affirmation and blinked his eyes. He no longer was speaking.

The baptism was beautiful. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit--the sign of the cross was made on the forehead of a precious man. James was awake for it and just nodded. When the Chaplain finished, I walked the chaplain out the door. When I came back in, James was trying to sit up so I sat on the sofa with him.

Then I realized what was happening. His Jesus had come to get him. I told his mom what was happening. There we both said, “Go James, go see Jesus. We’ll see you soon”

James lay back in my arms as I rubbed his head and prayed while he took his last breath.

Then he began to breath celestial air… and he then stepped foot onto his eternal Home… with his Papa.

Feeling Raw

Today, I had the honor and privilege of walking home a dear lady. She was ready. She wanted to go see her husband that had gone onto see Jesus some years ago. She went peacefully.

For me, it brings back memories of watching my dad go home to Jesus just weeks ago. So I shed tears with this family.

People ask me how I am doing. For the most part, I am doing better each day. Interestingly someone shared a note with me and I have to agree with the emotions and feelings described so well. Coincidentally, my friend that lost her daughter several months ago just emailed me this week and talked about how hard her days are. I was thinking how she was describing her pain to this man's account of the aftermath in his own life as the depiction of the raw moments of pain.

So let me share a portion of this letter:

(after losing his wife unexpectedly)

When asked how do I feel, I tell them raw. Raw doesn't feel good or bad. Raw is the smell of lilacs by the back door, not six feet away from her relics on the mantel. Raw is listening to Mahler's Fourth Symphony or the sons of Sweet Honey in the Rock. Raw is reading the hundreds of letters that come in, watching television alone at night.

Raw is letting whatever happens happen, what arises, arise. Feelings, too: grief, pain, loss, a desire to disappear, even the desire to die. One feeling follows another, one sensation after the next. I just listen deeply, bear witness.

Reminiscing about their home... doing things they loved...Thinking of the smile on her face. He bears witness to her.

How am I doing? I am bearing witness. And the state of bearing witness is the state of love.

by Bernie Glassman.....

Not a day goes by that I do not bear witness to my dad... I carry the torch of love

"Go into your grief ... for there your soul will grow." Carl Jung

To Sir With Love

My Dad's Eulogy / partial from me.

Maybe you are here for my mom, maybe my sister or maybe for me. I want to thank you for whatever reason in coming to support our family. I know many of you did not know my dad. For in his years of declining health, he did not get out and greet as many of you as he would have liked or would have in his younger years. But in a sense, you have met our dad, for when you see my sister or me, you see him. We are like our dad in so many ways.

Most people do not want to become their parents but I find it an honor. Many times I say to myself (or my husband likes to remind me—sly little smile intended here)—“I have become my dad.” and I just smile back.

You would be proud dad!

For you have taught me well—even in your last days and in the moments when you were most confused, I would answer you with, “Yes sir or No sir” and you would ask me what was up with the “Sir stuff.” I reminded you how you would not answer Lynn and me when we were younger unless “Sir’’ was tacked on when answering you or anyone. And your legacy lives on in your grandchildren. Remember Chyenne as she came running down from a house as she trick or treated yelling, “Momma, momma, I said my good manners.” The homeowners just giggled but it warmed my heart and I thought of you. I owe that to you dad. Thank you for my “good manners.”

Even to the end you took care of Lynn and me. For in your last moments you and God (of course) gave us a gift that we will cherish forever. You had been unresponsive for days and you woke up and looked at us sitting on both sides of you to say, how much you loved us. In a weak but loving voice you called us by name, I now know how special our names were to you because just weeks before (during another anointed time) you told me why we were named Connie and Lynn. You said because they were “Beautiful names like you both.” And then you went on to say, “You are my little girl and you will always be my little girls. I love you both. You take care of your little sister. You take care of each other.” And then you drifted back into a sleep.

I know in my own work of Hospice that not everyone gets these gifts but we did and we know you probably worked out some deal with God to make it happen.

For Jesus was right there in the room. As earlier when I told you how much Jesus loved you, you said, “I love Him, too.” Then you pointed to the corner of the room and said in a whisper, “Jesus is right there.”

Our time with you was beyond even the Supernatural, it was God! I soon had the nurses watching where they walked because Jesus was in the corner. I wished you could have seen their faces!

Ok... so you made us laugh in the midst of crying. There was the little thing with your Pastor ….He came in to see you and “well, Dad you kind of yelled out Holy (a word that can’t be said in this group)….” I think you caught your pastor off guard. We just sort of held our breath; I mean did you just commit some kind of cardinal sin? But only dad would do such a thing. When I finally had the courage to look your Pastor Les in the eye, he said, “Well, at least it was Holy.”

And Mom, I want you to know Dad always told us how lucky he was to have you and how much he loved you. We are lucky to have you too. Thank you for always being there for dad. And I am glad you received the most special gift as dad entered Heaven, his big beautiful smile; for we know he saw Jesus. You were the one to witness this. It was your unique and extraordinary moment with Heaven.

And now we know:
As dad woke, he envisioned stepping onto a shore but found it to be Heaven;
And as he took hold of a hand, he realized it was the hand of GOD, His Papa.
For the first time he breathes new air— that of celestial air.
The invigoration he now feels, well it is immortality
He has walked from the storm to an indescribable calm
Walking …Dad--you have found HOME…

So today, we weep. Even Jesus wept. Not because of death but because our hearts are broken for this season of separation.

But it is only for a season. For tomorrow, there is a promise—that of eternal life.

I love you Dad.

I celebrate your homecoming and your life—to you— To Sir with Love…..

Imagine

thank you Denise.... I needed this...

Tea-Time

Psalm 95:7 "Today, if you hear His voice..."




Today, I met a friend.

“Tea?”

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“Would you care to join me for some tea?”

(There went my grocery list of to-do’s. Quickly the list began to add up. Surely the world would come to a halt without me--sly little smile. I just don’t have time for this, “Tea-time”. It will make me late getting to my next appointment which will make me late getting home which will make me late for dinner which will make me late for... you get it…)

Do people really do tea anymore? I pondered.

Well, the Rapture did not occur during my fleeting seconds of tug-of-war over the issue of—time, Tea-time! And I did come to a decision to his question.

“Sure, I guess it couldn’t hurt to have a little tea.”

And so it was tea, and just the two of us.

What a beautiful day in those moments common between two spirits. The exuding love shared as we follow the call of the Papa evident as the dance of life began all around us in twirls of magic. Tiny bursts of warmth crackled through our hearts as time no longer mattered. Understanding eternity as something with no boundaries, no limits, and no end. The choirs of our desires sang gloriously without ever moving our lips. Anytime two people take the time to share, I mean really share with another spirit, we will find something beneath all the defenses and all the walls we have built. We will find their beauty.

And the world went on—there was not a backlog of the events of my life that day or any of the days that followed. I became more alive than ever. A new breath of a fresh spirit was present.

And the days became weeks, the weeks became months as we shared over “Tea-time.”

And we shared Jesus.

Knowing for why I came, our days were numbered, they were short. And so our Tea-time together was drawing to an end. He would soon be sharing his Tea-time with Jesus.

And the day came.

I was on my way to my patient’s house to pronounce his death, he lives near an airport. He was also a pilot. I had never seen a plane in all the times I drove to his home during our visits. On this day, a large plane flew very low and dipped his right wing as if saying “Hi, how about Tea-time.”

I will miss you my friend, but I know you wouldn’t come back for "All the tea in Heaven?”… smile… I love you….

Today, I lost a friend.


Living the Supernatural

We Will Kiss The Sky

Even the stork in the sky knows her appointed seasons (Jeremiah 8:7)

This Christmas has been one of the most spiritual times I can ever recall. I will long remember this moment.

Even though my shopping is not completed and my cooking remains undone—I embrace the magic that exudes my world during this extraordinary season.

My dreams sparkle in the night through the reflection of my precious loved ones as if my fallen tears had just graced a recently fallen snow; diamonds brilliant in the horizon, making known its worth.

As with my sweet daddy, the moments that his eyes and mine connect, our spirits dance. I love his eyes. They speak volumes to me. They tell his story. They share his love.

So is with my husband. I love his eyes. I can read his emotions through his eyes although he wishes that I did not.

But there is an endless life within the spirits that have come together. Without words and only with the spirits of our soul we can sway quietly to the music and we will find “rest quietly in the arms of the Son.” (Words of my daddy this week as he was completely unaware—it was as if our Lord was speaking)

As the music plays and only heard by those connected to the spirit, the wind brushes by warming our hearts, bringing in new hope and our Papa, Our Lord, will pick us up and guide us to the clouds in our journey. There we will kiss the sky. There some will go on with Papa; some will stay to complete their earthly tasks.

It is our passage to walk loved ones into His arms, is it not?

One day, however, we will all reunite as one….

But for now, take flight… and kiss the sky with those we love…


Happy Birthday Jesus,

The Sands Of Life

Psalm 139:17-18How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.


How do you kiss the wind?

Or

Embrace the warmth of the Sun?

And what is it like to hold onto someone you love as their life passes by like the sand sifting through the fingers of a small child lost in play for hours at the beach.

Even if we tried to hold onto each grain of sand, some bits would slip through our fingers. We may hold on tightly vowing to never let go but eventually the winds, the water and our toil cause us to drop each granule of sand we believed to have held tightly in our grasp. And the specks of life, the ones we so dearly love, fall back into the hands of the One who owned them all along.

I am trying to grab the wind and hold on tightly to the force of nature given to me by my Abba. But I know the days are short for my Papa is calling one of His children home soon. My precious daddy is going to be going home and each moment I have I want to hold tightly onto the last grains of sand representing his life; this will always remain precious to me.

But I know that eventually the last piece of sand will fall from my hands and Our Papa will call. And my Papa will brush the sand off my hands and pick me up and hold me like a child not ready to leave their place on the beach, their place of comfort.


And in my sadness, I will just rest in the arms of my Papa….

To my sweet daddy….I love you

To my sweet Papa, I love you



Happy Birthday Jesus,

Walking Him Home

Then He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace." (Luke 8:48)


The phone rang early in the morning the other day and on the other end was a desperate cry, “Will you come and check our daddy?” I had been working closely with this family. They were a very private family and did not allow too many people into their home. So instead of calling the on call nurse I said, “Sure, I will be right there.”

As always, I started praying on my way to their home for the family and the patient. I prayed for God’s strength in what we were about to face as only God knew.


When I arrived, my patient was struggling with each breath he took. I checked his vital signs. I could not find a pulse or a blood pressure but he was still alive. So I told the youngest daughter what was going on and asked her if she had told her daddy it was ok to “go Home – to Heaven?” She said she had. So I asked her if her older sister who was currently resting had given her dad permission to go. The youngest daughter said, “No, she hasn’t” and gave a look as if she might not be able to.


I walked into the room where the oldest daughter was napping and sat down next to her waking her up. I told her what was going on with her dad and that what I was about to ask her would be one of the hardest things she would ever have to do. I told her that her dad was hanging on for her and he needed her permission “to go.”


Through the tears of compassionate love and understanding, she finally agreed to tell him he could go. I told her that I would be there with her and her sister but that God would be her strength.


She started out slow at first as her voice was very shaky. But soon she had such confidence as evident that God stood by their side for the words flowed from their mouths, “Dad, its ok for you to go where you can breathe again, go to the Light as we will be ok. They have beautiful grass that you can cut once again, go dad and cut the grass. We will be o.k. We will see you again. We love you.”


And as these words were said, their daddy slowly and peacefully took his last breaths. He quit struggling with his breathing. The transition into eternity was one of incredible peace. They held their daddy’s hand and talked to him. He gently walked into the gates of Heaven.


I said to his daughters, “You have just walked your daddy into the arms of Jesus.”


They turned to me and said, “We did, didn’t we?”


They wanted their daddy healed…….


He is now completely and totally healed…



Living the Supernatural,

A Holy Kiss

“Greet one another with a holy kiss” (Romans 16:16)

When I arrived, I sat on his bed and held his hand. His eyes were distant. As I called his name, he slowly looked my way. There it was that sweet precious smile I had come to love over these past months.

“Hi my love,” I said. In a frail voice, my patient said, ‘Hi darling” back to me.

This past week had been a tough week for my patient. He was declining quickly. I had told his son to call the family home, it would not be long now. Their daddy would be soon joining their momma and little brother in Heaven.

As I dropped my hand from his, he knew and I knew the sacredness of that moment. It was as if the pedals of his flower were dropping one by one or as the sand of an hourglass ticking the time away. Only now tomorrow had become today. His time had come and we both knew it.

For in this hope born out of suffering we could ask Father Time to wait, wait another day or to wait for our Savior but just days before he had whispered to me, “I’m so tired and I’m ready to go home.” So why ask for something that bares the self-affliction of agony for a few more days at the expense of his soul. He thought better over the days. And he let go.

So as I was about to leave, I knew this time was different, I knew this was going to be my last visit with him here on earth. I kissed him and said, “I will see you again and I love you.” And he turned to look at me with his fragile eyes and said, “Yes, we will” and smiled.

Holding. Waiting. Knowing. Watching for our Savior. Something we all do, is it not? And so did my little man in his last hours. He was at such peace.

What an incredible gift our Savior gives us.

A short time later the phone call came from his son….”Connie, Dad is gone…”…. and my mind wondered to our last “holy kiss” and our last words, “I will see you again…”

Yes, this was a blessed sacred moment in time. One to hold close to my heart in my journey of life, a little red heart given to me by my Savior.

For one day, we shall all be one…..

Where Is God?

(Daniel 2:28)"... but there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries"

This week has been busy. I have lost many dear patients but then this is the job I endear. I cannot tell you how precious these families and lives are but more importantly, our Savior. He is so present during these sweet and precious times.

Yesterday, I was at the house of my one of my patients when her best friend, her lover became angry as he stood over her dying body and said to me, "So where is your God in this?"

He had already told me that he was agnostic. His spouse is a believer.

He is holding onto his bitterness. The bitterness that numbs his soul and keeps him protected from the sorrow he is faced with.

For if, just if, there is a God... he may be forced to face the fact that what he is dealing with at this moment is real... as he is about to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. (Psalm 23) Denial is a powerful emotion.

But what he doesn't realize is if--- he would open that hand of acceptance of a God, my God, his God--he will find hope, hope born of suffering --well known by our Savior.

This would allow him to be held as he takes the hand of our Savior. Otherwise, he may walk this journey alone after she is gone.

My last words to my friend were, "Ask God to reveal Himself to you."

And at that moment, her perfectly still sleeping dog came over to him and jumped up as if to be held. He said, "Now, that is weird."

So, I whispered to him, "Ask God.." as I left his home.

Blessings...

The Brush Of Angel Wings

“He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it” (Genesis 28:12)

Swoosh.

What was that – as a small piece of my hair blew across my face? I felt the wind as something quietly moved into my space. Its’ warmth filled my soul. Peace washed over me like rain on a warm summer day.

I was out of town on a Christian conference. I had just arose up from a wonderful dream. One of my patients’ who really knew suffering from a terrible disease that caused him facial disfigurement was drawing near the end of his life so I had prayed the Lord would take him home. In my dream, he came to me and said, “Look Connie, I am whole again.” In my dream I offered to walk him home. So we strolled hand in hand together for a long walk until he disappeared.

The dream was so real to me that I had to call work later that morning and ask! Did my patient “Go home?” Did he pass away? And I was told, “Why yes he did, during the night.”

Swoosh…… And I felt the wings of Angels pass me by……

Before I left town last week, another one of my patients talked about a “Wedding” for two days. He is in his last days and not coherent. But he went into much detail to explain this wedding, from what he should wear to who will be there.

Then today, his daughter shared with me that her mom finally told her dad that he could “go on home”. She needed to give him permission to let go and go onto be with Jesus. We could tell he was holding on for his precious love, his wife.

Since then he has made the change preparing for his death. His daughter shared with me, in her father’s description of the wedding last week, he explained what he would wear. Not realizing it, his wife picked out the precise suit he had described this past weekend. Their three daughters brought this to their mother’s attention, “Mom, this is the outfit that dad described in detail for the wedding.”

Swoosh, and the small feather of an angel wing fell to the floor....

Today, I asked the daughter, do you think your dad was speaking of “The wedding” as in the Bridegroom and His bride?(Jn 3:29) For her dad was so passionate about this wedding and the date he needs to be ready. She began to cry. For the people attending the wedding have already gone on to be with Jesus.

Swoosh, and the presences of Angels were all around us…..

In Him,

The Son Will Never Set Again

“..to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philip 1:21)

Just as with a new birth, the momma bird prepares her nest for her baby, and the momma bear will also arrange her den before her cub’s arrival. We, too, begin the process of organizing a place for our newborn. It is a God-given instinct—Nesting. A gift— given to us by our Father. For a new day approaches in our life.

Quickly, the years go by in our life as we fast forward. The nest that we built many moons ago has weathered countless storms. But we have fought to keep our home and those we love nestled safely in its place, protected from the elements of the world.

Our season has now come and the sun will soon lay down one last time in our life. We reflect. We may even shed tears over missed opportunities or over losses along our way. Some of us may sit and savor the beautiful sunset as we appreciate the hard day’s work and friends that stopped by through our passage.

For we have heard our Abba’s call home, we begin to prepare for the journey. I see it daily. It’s instinctive as the day we were born. The nest—prepared so long ago is now being torn down and distributed to those we love. Our loved ones sense something is happening but they dare not ask. It would be admitting what they already deep down in their hearts know.

Our spirit knows, too. There is a transcending peace beyond any earthly understanding. In my job as a Hospice Nurse, I see it in their eyes. They speak to me (and sometimes, they don’t have to) as if to say, “I’m ok, my work is done here, I have come to my season of rest.” The families want answers to what they already know. Sometimes, I only have to hold their hands and the tears will flow. For silence is powerful. (Lamentations 3:28 NIV) Our presence and our tears can be one of God’s greatest tools of love.

And when our last breath comes, it really will be our first breath with our Jesus. For then we will walk into the sunset, that of a beautiful Light, our Abba.

And our Journey continues on……As we go to prepare a nest for those left behind. (John 14:2)

Where the Son will never set again.

Rest In His Arms,

The Crossroads of Suffering

The other day, I had a wife ask me “Is he going to get better?” They have been married for 64 years. “I don’t know how I can live without him.” She knew the answer when she asked me but I said, “No, he’s not, I’m sorry.”

I read the other day where a couple lost their twins and to add to the pain, they had already lost another child.

I learned a few days ago that we will be receiving a child to our services. There will be parents that will be losing their child.

Why wasn’t my young friend Melissa healed?

Why did my friend Jayne die such a brutal death?

Why does God choose to heal some and not others? There are miracles each day.

Remember the woman with the bleeding issues? (Matt 9:20-22) And Peter, he was delivered from Prison. (Acts 12:5-12) And the list goes on, Daniel in the Lion’s Den, Lazarus as he was raised from the dead. And how can we forget ol’ Job…. God healed these....so why not others?

Job—he had it all, he lost it all. His well meaning friends tried to convince him of his “lack of” faith or “sin” in his life.. For surely, he had done something wrong…. Do you ever feel that way when life is not going so well?

But Job stood firm in his belief. Without disrespect to God, he questioned the injustice and defended his integrity. “Though He slays me, yet will I trust Him…” (Job13:15)

Through Job’s faith, he was eventually rewarded. Through his perseverance of his sufferings because what Job did come to learn about himself was his pride. He found a humble spirit.

We learn too just as with Paul that God does not always remove our circumstances. For like Paul, he did not remove the “Thorn in his flesh.” (2 Corinthians 12:7, 10)

So our suffering can come as a gift from God. Now, I'm NOT saying He caused it. But He will use the circumstance. In Job's circumstance it is clear that God "allowed" the circumstance to occur. After the conversation with Satan and God. But God did draw a line to where Satan could cross.

These trials come to bring us closer to our precious Savior. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)

When we are faced with the crossroads of suffering, we have two options—Spiritual growth or despair.

Do not look for a road block that says “No suffering” just because you are of great faith. You won’t find it.

But you will find a garden of trees bearing much fruit if you choose the right road.

When you choose Him.

Songs of Joy

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy (Psalm 126:5)

Joy in death? As I finish up this series, I wonder if there can be joy in our sorrows. God says there can be.

Many of us feel guilty for laughing and sharing stories during our sorrows when someone passes. Have you ever noticed? We feel like there must be this “mourning” period first and extreme sadness like in the Old Testament. But they did not know the eternal life, when Christ came and brought us life.

For our loved one is now standing in the meadows of complete healing, joy, and love; truthfully, they would not come back even if they could.

There can be humor even in the worst of circumstances. Maybe not right away. But God doesn’t want us to live in pain forever. He wants us to learn to live again.

I read a story where there was an actual letter that came from Health and Human Services to a resident of Greenville County, South Carolina: "Your food stamps will be stopped, effective March 1992, because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you? You may reapply if your circumstances change." (S. Bowen Matthews, Wilmington, Delaware. Leadership, Vol. 17, no. 3. ) Now wouldn’t that be interesting??!! I might be tempted to reapply....

Unless we are lucky to be here when the Rapture comes, we will all experience death. To dread death is a waste of our precious gift of life.

And after all, we know the rest of the story.

There is hope, there is a future….

There is eternity and we are living it right now.

God Bless

Heaven Bound

"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies…”(John 11:25)

How do we accept death? Is it really a part of life?

With the recent death of my friend Melissa and the death of my patients in Hospice, something has occurred to me; most of us do not know how to die.

We prepare for the birth of our babies. We prepare each year for the celebration of another year. We prepare to celebrate life.

But let’s not discuss death. Even though it is inevitable, we try to skirt around it. The problem is we cannot stop “it” from happening. We can’t even delay it, really. Oh, maybe by a few weeks or months but at the cost of what? And for who? What about the one suffering? I have had patients beg God to take them home.

Sometimes, we will try and help the loved ones of the dying (or maybe they have died) person. You know, the ones left behind! Don’t we feel like we need to “fix” them? It’s in "our nature" that we want to remove their burden, their pain. We try to help them with their grief but sometimes may they remain in complete denial, even for a period after the death of their loved one. It’s frustrating for those watching. We are fixers. Sometimes, they just aren't ready. They need to grieve in their own space for a while. And don't dare say, hasn't it been long enough. Ouch!

This is where we need to be kind and patient, for God is in control—not us.

Eventually, the loved one will become weary and then this is our opportunity… this is when he / she will be ready for our help.

Just like a drowning person -- you don’t want to help them while they're are frantic! When I was on my check off dive for a scuba trip years ago, a young man thought he was drowning (I would have thought that too except he had an air hose hooked to his mouth with plenty of air), so he became panicked; in turn, he grabbed the first thing he could seize hold of which happened to be me. We both almost drowned. Not until he became exhausted were we able to get him back to shore, safely.

It is through our Papa and His love that each of us can be rescued. Death is a part of life. We are only here for a short time. Hopefully, we can make our death as graceful as our birth and meaningful as our life.

Though our bodies are dying each day, may our souls be Heaven bound.

Love ya

Today, Melissa Was Healed

Today, my friend Melissa Skinner was healed.

Today, my friend will never hurt again, for she stands before Jesus completely whole.

Today, she heard these words:

My beloved responded and said to me,
'Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,
And come along.
'For behold, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone.
'The flowers have already appeared in the land;
The time has arrived for pruning the vines,
And the voice of the turtledove has been heard in our land.
'The fig tree has ripened its figs,
And the vines in blossom have given forth their fragrance.
Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,
And come along!'"
"O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
In the secret place of the steep pathway,
Let me see your form,
Let me hear your voice;
For your voice is sweet,
And your form is lovely." (Song of Solomon 2:10-14)

At age 36, with two small children, it seems and it is such a tragic loss. For we have lost a dear friend. We cannot help but ask God-- Why? And, I know we will not begin to understand the reason(s) this side of Heaven.

All we know is that today Melissa heard Jesus cry out, “Arise, My love” and so she did, for she took His hand and she arose.

For today, our Jesus called our sweet Melissa home.

Please help me pray for Melissa’s husband, two small children, her family and friends.

I love you guys.....