Valentine’s Day-- A day to celebrate the love between two people. Candy, flowers and cupids arrow with a string of love sonnets to fill the air. I must say, however, my husband doesn’t care for this day too much but goes with the flow.
But somewhere in the days before Valentine’s, the love struck arrow strikes leaving him shopping endlessly for just the right card and a few other things.
Twenty years is a long time to be together. We have lived through a lot over those twenty years. When we first married, we had big dreams for our life. We made a commitment to cherish one another through the good and the bad.
Little did we know, the bad would mean a blended family, dealing with ex’s, the death of three of our parents, a heart attack, the loss of a job, changing careers, and one of us going through a difficult journey!
It was no Cinderella story of living happily ever after.
I would learn to be quiet when his temper flared and the sarcasm slid off his tongue.
He learned to bite his tongue when I spent too much money or rambled on incessantly about nothing.
There were endless hours of work, cleaning our home, tending to the children and church responsibilities.
But it would become these little things that brought us closer together. And the “I love you” became an action phrase, melting my heart more now than in the beginning. The tender kiss that means more to me now than when we first met and the way he looks at me when we slow dance, reminds me who I belong to.
Mother's Day is always full of surprises....since the first mother's day I found out I was pregnant I have been overwhelmed with emotion.
I would be less than honest if I didn't say I selfishly and secretly come to expect my little family at home to stop and worship me...OK.. if I am alone in this belief, maybe I need some serious counseling...but I do feel this way.
The very first year I discovered I was pregnant, my now ex-husband (key word "ex") crushed my world. Mother's Day came and anxiously I awaited my first mother's day gift. Time passed and I thought maybe just a card. But I soon realized there was no card, nothing. I thought here I am carrying his baby and he doesn't appreciate that I am going to be a mom to his baby. I can't begin to tell you the heartache. When I finally got around to asking him why he didn't remember me, he told me that I was not his momma. "But I..." and my lip quivered too much to continue so I never could quite got those words out of my mouth that year.
Years have come and gone. Since then, my children have taken wonderful care of me. Thank God for teachers. They bring home the most beautiful hand made gifts. Gifts that will bring any momma to tears. Little fingers and hands made into animals. I have wonderful colorful vases that are holding flowers from our garden.
As my children have gotten older, their choices are more unique and take us back to a special memory. I always hold onto a special something from that gift. But the best gift is time. Crawling up in bed and holding onto each other is something I will always cherish. The smell of their hair. The love.
Just one more day. God gave me time with my children. A Mother's wish.
Chyenne (now 22) & Hogan (now 14) Whitney is married / 2 boys (4,1)
The day you were born, I too was born. I was born into motherhood. I did not take a class on how to be a mom. I did not receive a diploma. No one taught me. I had never even changed a diaper before you were born except in nursing school and that was a disaster. I vividly remember the day you came into the world all purple, red and screaming at the top of your little lungs. I know the first time you look at your newborn baby, you instantly fall in love with him/her and really-- I did. But …I thought, good Lord, what is this thing? I mean she had a smashed up face from her journey down the birth canal. I remember thinking she looked like a frog. Before you turn me into DFACS…I love her dearly.
I should have had a clue then by her grand entrance on how her life would turn out. She came into the world three weeks early –sideways-- not to mention the two hour long pushing causing the doctors quite difficulty in getting her out. And life has pretty much been like that since. When she was three, she told me she was headed to New York to live. I did ask her to wait a few years. And she did! Now that she is an adult, the dream of big city living has been fulfilled. She is very content.
How we become a mother is not always how we expect. I became a mother two more times. Twice in one year. After remarrying, I became the proud mother of my step-daughter some years older than my own daughter. As with any child, there were and still are many challenges. Blended families are just like that. You can polish them up but there will always be underlying emotions. It is the nature of the beast and consequences of the actions. Usually, the stepparent catches the ugliness of the pain. But I do occasionally get to experience joy and I am honored to be her mom.
Is it different raising her? Yes, I wished I could say no…and I have worked very hard to make it the same but children sometimes will not allow you into their world where they feel obligated to protect their parents. They do not want to feel as if they are being disloyal to their mom. I have been in her shoes as a child. I know the emotions. I have learned to take the back seat and be fine with it. One day she will realize that I love her.
A year after I became a step-mom, my daughters became sisters to a baby brother.He has been a tremendous joy and gift in my life. I just look at him and I’m amazed at God’s grace and mercy. He has always been by our side. Only until the past year has he ever been away from us. We saw how fast the girls grew. He is a strong and secure young man. He comes to me occasional for an emotional recharge but most of the time now; he’s got it figured out now.
I was blessed to have been given the opportunity to be a mom. I look around this world today and so many mother's take being a mom for granted, maybe because I had such a hard time conceiving my daughter, I will never forget the heartache.I cringe today when young moms are too busy for their own children, always looking for someone else to “watch” them or consider their child a burden. I see more and more grandparents, aunts and uncles raising children instead of the child’s parents. If only the mother knew how fast their young child grew and how little time they have, maybe they would cherish each moment.
Just ask a mother that never was.
Or a mother that no longer is.
A mother that has a child with tremendous needs.
And we take for granted the simple pleasures of raising our babies?
This is by far one of the most special day's God has ever granted me.
And to my mother's (you see I have blessed to have a mother and step-mom who love me dearly)
And yes, he has been known to wear other things on his head... but I try to keep my blog clean so I won't go there....
This is my husband. Brad... I love him with all my heart.. Today is his birthday...
Today, I want to thank God for him...
I want to thank God that He thought enough of me to send Brad to me...
I want to thank God for sending me a man that would love me with an unconditional love
I want to thank God for sending me a man that would love me in sickness and in health and really mean it.
I thank God that when the tough gets tougher, Brad stinks around...
I thank God for a husband that loves me enough that he gave me a son and two daughters but I thank God even more as I watch my husband pour out his love to our children.
I thank Brad that he follows God's calling (most of the time)
I thank God for his financial support and picking up the slack well.... let's say --when I put us in the red....
God... thank you.... for this man....I call my husband.... my beloved journey partner...
"I am with you always.........Because He first loved us.........I will never leave you nor forsake you........"
The comforting words of our Heavenly Father......When my daughter, Chyenne, turned 3, her father and I divorced. I spent several days in my empty living room (void of furniture) crying.
Chyenne did not have the words to comfort me but knew I needed it. Alone in her room for sometime, she came to me with a piece of paper, covered in pictures of little red hearts.
Immediately, she would return to her room and come back again with more little red hearts that she had colored, quietly laying them in my lap. Her love comforted me beyond anything I can put into words.
How often does our Heavenly Father lay little red hearts in our lap?..... an unexpected phone call to say hi, a smile, a compliment or an embrace from a friend.....
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