Jesus Took His Hand

The phone rang. I looked over at the clock, it was 1:30 a.m. I cleared my head realizing with sadness, it could be only one thing. I was on call for a special little couple. This couple had been together for many years. And she never left his side in all the sixty-five years of their marriage.

Until tonight that is. This was the beginning of a new journey for her.

I answered the phone. “He’s gone.” It was a nursing peer on the other end. I knew I needed to go quick. I wasn’t sure how my patients wife would cope.

Within what seemed like hours, I walked through the door of his hospital room, cold and sad; and there sat my little wife in the chair next to him with the saddest face I could remember seeing in a long time. When she looked up and saw me, the tears began to flow and her body heaved with uncontrollable sobs. I couldn't understand what she was saying but her body said it all.

I held her in my arms for a long time.

Her brokenness had stolen my heart. I think God is so much like that. When He sees us in our broken state, He picks us up and wraps His arms around us and holds us tight. (Psalm 147:3)

The love of a couple like these two is a pretty rare gem. They never had children so their lives were each other. It was so beautiful. The world on this evening came to a standstill for a period of time.

We all honored my little man's entry into the Heavens. For it truly was a blessing.

His wife finally spoke, “I told him he couldn’t go. He will be alone.”

I asked her if she believed in the Bible (I knew she was a Christian). And she said, “Yes."

Do you think he is alone based on what the Bible says?”

Silence…

And then...with a small quivering voice ..."I only let his hand go for a short time," whispered his dulcet wife.

“Who do you think took his hand and walked him Home?” I asked her or maybe it was God--- who really knows?

And then the tears flowed.

Are You Someone's Light

When someone cries out "if only there were a light at the end of my tunnel"

is it just possible...

that you were sent to be that light?

(Matthew 5:14 --You are the light of the world)

The Ragamuffin Gospel

Please turn off the music below

SuPeR sTaR

make sure you STOP the music below

THE SPLAT EXPERIENCE

TURN OFF THE MUSIC BELOW.. AND ENJOY THIS AWESOME EXPERIENCE

Pediatric Hospice

This baby passed away before birth. Her name is Alexis Ann. Grief. Pain. Shock. Just to name a few, take over and the parents have no idea what to do. So a group of staff that have dealt with this before can atleast direct them into a direction of some type of normalcy until they can once again breath on their own.

This is where we come in.

It is interesting how God puts things into our path. He is the perfect orchestrator of all things.

I have always had the passion for many things (although, I didn't always know what they were). many times I beat myself up saying, I can't do it all.... But now--- God is seeing to it that I do many of them--nursing--counseling--embracing through love--mission work, the list just goes on. He(Papa, our God) is wrapping up so many of my desires into one.

You might ask, why, oh why would you desire such a thing. I just don't know. I can't answer this. But I have a heart to love on those in pain. A rescuer?! Maybe that is why 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 is so close to my heart. I may not have gone through this exact tragedy but I have experienced my share.

I found out today that our Hospice organization will be taking on a new role. We are going to start taking children (which we started recently) but also newborns.

I have always had a heart for their families and the babies & children just as the adults I care for in Hospice. Why? Only God can answer this. My families often confirm this. I love what I do.

So I will begin training soon. And for newborns, the families that receive the devastating news that their child will not live long outside of utero, we will come in and take care of the baby and their family either in the hospital or at home for their brief life.

Same as for children. Either at home or hospital as well.

Our area has been neglected for so long because no one wants to take this huge responsibility on. People (other medical organizations) are afraid. But there is a desperate need. These families need love. They need reassurance. They need guidance. AND again, they just need to know they aren't odd but that they will be ok( in a sense).... they will survive( the parents) no matter what... and that they are loved.

They need to know God has not deserted them.

As I read blogs. Books. etc. I see and feel what I "think" would help. They need someone to make the medical decisions so that they can just love on their baby. Someone to just help them look at this from a birds eye view. They sure don't need to feel like something is wrong with them. And they don't need to feel ostracized.

I have learned from one of the other nurses that has managed some of the pediatric patients is that when the children are dying, we will pretty much be out at the homes 24 /7. The parents are scared. Well, yes... I would be too.

Correct me if I am wrong... AND... if you are out there and you have been down this path, PLEASE, share with me your thoughts on what you think you would like to see happen. Or if you had help what was good and what wasn't.

I can only thing that as I care for adults, we expect adults to die although that doesn't make it easier... but we don't expect children and babies to die. This has to be so devastating. (And I would imagine I will cry...which we have discussed a debriefing for our staff)

There is an elect few that chose to do this out of our group. Not all the nurses are going to be able to do this. Having done some care with newborns / stillborns I only had a small taste. But I want to help families.

I recently read Karen Kingsbury's book where Ashley gave birth to her baby girl... I think it was Someday?? but it was this very subject. And I'm sure this isn't even close to reality.

Yes, I have rambled again... maybe I just need y'alls help and insight....

I have added some new info on my sidebar with some resources

thanks as always my dear friends....for listening...

Thoughts??

Ramblings of a Hospice Nurse

(Exodus 3:5) "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground."

The past week has been long, yet timeless. It is as if I have been walking in a place I speak of often--the "Supernatural."

I have to say, I am honored but I do ask, "Why me, Papa?" How could I be the one chosen to walk in these precious days with these dear people and witness their heavenly encounters as You prepare for their way home.

I had been with one particular patient for months. I had broken the cardinal sin (as I always do) and became attached to her. I fell in love with her. I went to her house every day for several months for dressing changes so this really gave us time to bond. And then the day came, she no longer recognized me or her family. But as I sat with her, she talked. She carried on a beautiful conversation.

It was of a beautiful love to come.

Her daughter came up behind me and said, "She is talking to my dad." He had passed away several years before. My patient had said that her husband had made a visit weeks ago and promised her that a white chariot would pick her up.

The next day, her white chariot came.



Yesterday, I was at the house of one of my families. When I say families, let me explain. I had a father and daughter on my service. The daughter was a friend of mine and her son is my son's friends. She had passed away months ago and now I have her dad.

Some days, the mom / wife is just breathing to survive. I spend a lot of time with her. So yesterday, I was with her and she had resigned to losing her husband now. As I stood over her and her husband, I said, "It is getting close and he will be with your daughter soon." Her husband has not spoke and acknowledged anything in sometime. He looked at his wife and nodded affirmatively.

My patients wife said, "Did you see that?" Yes. I did.

"God has given you a gift so that you can let him go." I said

"I will, I do," she said. And she cried. The tenderness of this moment could only be explained of that as standing on Holy Ground.


Yesterday, one of my peers asked me to see her patient. The husband witnessed our Savior to me!!


Are you standing on Holy Ground?

REDEMPTION

Have you read the series? Karen Kingsbury's Redemption series? Oh my, it will change you...

There are five books in the first series and then there is a spin off of it to the Firstborn series of five more books...

you become a part of the family.... and your life... is never the same...you learn forgiveness

21 YEARS AGO TODAY, AUG 4TH

Twenty one years ago today, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. and went for a swim, 3/4 of a mile to be exact.

Refreshing.

A soon-to-be new mom. Not knowing what to expect. Never dreaming how my life was about to change. I had three more weeks before my daughter would be born, although I didn't know she was a girl at the time. You know, I wanted to be surprised!!

I finished my swim and went to work. My doctors appointment was at 11:30 a.m. I had been having contractions. As a nurse, I knew that was normal. (whatever--nothing is normal--never ever again)

So when I got to the doctor, and he said, "You are in labor". That was only the beginning of my life changing journey.

OMG..I sat up and thought or maybe I yelled out loud, "What am I suppose to do? "... I guess it was like I thought I had a choice... Remember, I said this was my first rodeo.

I went to the hospital. Hours (literally) later, I held this beautiful little girl. Now she will tell you, that at first sight, I thought she looked like a little squashed frog...sorry baby.. but I loved you anyway.

Now,all that matters is she has grown up to be the most incredible person I have ever known. She now has her own apartment, is doing great in school, and well, I just couldn't be more proud of her.

Chyenne has overcome many challenges in her life.. physical and emotional challenges. She is ,however, much stronger because of them.

A woman of integrity.

Loves God.

Loves her family.

So our little Sunshine, Happy 21st Birthday... and welcome to the world of adulthood.. to being a woman...


she is living up to what she said she would be --as my little sunshine... even as my little 4 year old running around in her skimpies....

To our Sunshine---We love you so much

Lemonette on Shyness

Lemonette is from Rome, my home town... I thought you would enjoy her... you can also go to youtube and find her "Southernisms..."

God's Faithful Servant--The Lonely Wave

"He quieted the wind down to a whisper, put a muzzle on all the big waves. And you were so glad when the storm died down, and He led you safely back to harbor." (Psalm 107:23)

Our vacation was incredible, but being at the beach always is. For it is God in His purest form. The waves speak to me in the rawest form. The air brushes against my face as if speaking a whole new language. The midst of salt air rises from the waves and touch my skin in an amazing newness. Just smell a newborn baby, touch their skin, caress their hair allthewhile close your eyes in this venture. Your senses come alive.

This is what it is like when we allow God to become our senses. When we let Papa embrace the beauty of all He created.

Just call me Mrs. Kodak. I love my pictures. Here is one of the pictures I took while I was on vacation. A little picture of a lonely picture of a wave. But it is a pretty significant picture of a powerful picture. For this picture depicts a beautifully calm sea with one very lone wave with a very large big wave riding its last ride into the shore. What a contrast! For the day before, the seas had been very rough.

As I look at the pictures, I can actually smell the ocean, hear the birds and feel the wind against my face. And I think about the one lonely wave making its wave shore--to his home!

The wave does not think about time. Oh no! He's not on a schedule; he's only on God's time. He's living in eternity. As I watched the wave, I notice how at peace he lives his last moments. As if with all his strength he has, he bellows up and rolls. I hear him. He is a witness to his Savior. He lives out the purpose of his being without question. And as he rolls onto the shore, he surrenders with such peace.

He is "Led safely back to harbor." (Psalm 107:23)

"Well done, good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25:21) as we stand before our Abba.

The lonely wave, the lonely child, the lonely mother, the lonely husband....

Are we any different?

are we really lonely?? (Psalm 23)