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Friday, May 7, 2010

Happy Mother's Day

Chyenne (now 22) & Hogan (now 14)
Whitney is married / 2 boys (4,1)

The day you were born, I too was born. I was born into motherhood. I did not take a class on how to be a mom. I did not receive a diploma. No one taught me. I had never even changed a diaper before you were born except in nursing school and that was a disaster. I vividly remember the day you came into the world all purple, red and screaming at the top of your little lungs. I know the first time you look at your newborn baby, you instantly fall in love with him/her and really-- I did. But …I thought, good Lord, what is this thing? I mean she had a smashed up face from her journey down the birth canal. I remember thinking she looked like a frog. Before you turn me into DFACS…I love her dearly.

I should have had a clue then by her grand entrance on how her life would turn out. She came into the world three weeks early –sideways-- not to mention the two hour long pushing causing the doctors quite difficulty in getting her out. And life has pretty much been like that since. When she was three, she told me she was headed to New York to live. I did ask her to wait a few years. And she did! Now that she is an adult, the dream of big city living has been fulfilled. She is very content.

How we become a mother is not always how we expect. I became a mother two more times. Twice in one year. After remarrying, I became the proud mother of my step-daughter some years older than my own daughter. As with any child, there were and still are many challenges. Blended families are just like that. You can polish them up but there will always be underlying emotions. It is the nature of the beast and consequences of the actions. Usually, the stepparent catches the ugliness of the pain. But I do occasionally get to experience joy and I am honored to be her mom.

Is it different raising her? Yes, I wished I could say no…and I have worked very hard to make it the same but children sometimes will not allow you into their world where they feel obligated to protect their parents. They do not want to feel as if they are being disloyal to their mom. I have been in her shoes as a child. I know the emotions. I have learned to take the back seat and be fine with it. One day she will realize that I love her.

A year after I became a step-mom, my daughters became sisters to a baby brother. He has been a tremendous joy and gift in my life. I just look at him and I’m amazed at God’s grace and mercy. He has always been by our side. Only until the past year has he ever been away from us. We saw how fast the girls grew. He is a strong and secure young man. He comes to me occasional for an emotional recharge but most of the time now; he’s got it figured out now.

I was blessed to have been given the opportunity to be a mom. I look around this world today and so many mother's take being a mom for granted, maybe because I had such a hard time conceiving my daughter, I will never forget the heartache. I cringe today when young moms are too busy for their own children, always looking for someone else to “watch” them or consider their child a burden. I see more and more grandparents, aunts and uncles raising children instead of the child’s parents. If only the mother knew how fast their young child grew and how little time they have, maybe they would cherish each moment.

Just ask a mother that never was.

Or a mother that no longer is.

A mother that has a child with tremendous needs.

And we take for granted the simple pleasures of raising our babies?

This is by far one of the most special day's God has ever granted me.

And to my mother's (you see I have blessed to have a mother and step-mom who love me dearly)


Whitney --March 16

Chyenne--born August 4

Hogan-- born August 28

2 little hearts from you...:

Denise said...

This is beyond precious, your children are truly blessed to have you as their mom. I love you.

Karin said...

Motherhood is such a huge responsibility. Much of what we do may never be noticed - but God sees it all! What a blessing to raise those entrusted to our care. God bless!