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Saturday, June 21, 2008

Silent Suffering

Silent Sufferers.....

Are we not all there at times? Our secrets tend to take us to a place of despair and loneliness. For no one else has ever been there?!

It is ours to carry.

In that, we self-loathe. How could God love us? We hide our face from Him.

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me." (2 Corinthians 12:7)

I will tell you that the days become weeks and the weeks became months. I could not come out of my depression. Yes, I knew that I was His. I knew that it was time to rise out of this place of despair. But I couldn't. All the talking would not move me.

My writing dried up for a season. I went through the motions of what had to be done.

I grieved.

I asked God, WHY?

And then, not too long ago, I read this:

it's by Charles Slagle , From The Father's Heart

Recovering Restorer,

Be at Peace. Know you are protected. Yes; you are right. I have allowed a lonely path for you- a path others have assessed from their surface view as an easy one. Never mind. It is Our view that counts, not theirs.

Rejoice! You are specially chosen and hand-picked. I have called you to demonstrated My heart to the hurting generation. The world is weary of words and so am I. Therefore, I AM raising up an army of saviors, and as a leader in that army you have been chosen to demonstrate My saving character to many silent sufferers. For so long I have yearned, through my family, to love into wholeness the broken and wounded. You will exemplify how it is done.

Be at peace about your lack of knowledge. I have purposely foiled your attempts to become a theologian. I need redeemers, not religionists. And why have I allowed you to work in weakness? To carry a burden which has forced you to fall continually upon My grace? I seek deliverers, not destroyers. Restorers, not rejecters. Your own need of mercy has made you a vessel of mercy--a compassionate counselor and life-giver. You know it is true. I have kept you, formed you, withstood you at times, but always upheld you. And I have counted it pure joy!

So you thought you would never be free, did you? Now do you see the purpose of those years of searching? Your seeming lack of solutions? These laid the foundation for your freedom today. Keep giving grace and keeping loving sinners. And stay committed to the good news of My power.


For our own need of Mercy has made us a vessel of Mercy... to those in Silent Sufferings..

I am where God wants me right now.. I rest in this... Thank you Papa

9 little hearts from you...:

Technonana said...


Donetta said...

:) yep...
comforting others with that same comfort we have been comforted with.

Denise said...

Praise our Father for bringing you His peace sweet one. I have never stopped praying for you. I love you.

A Stone Gatherer said...

I second what Tecnonana said! Beautiful! I so needed to read that! You are in my thoughts and prayers! I always love when you post! Take care of yourself!

JUST A MOM said...

((HUGS) just BE

Julie said...

Oh dear friend, though our details are different, I empathize with the words written... I have been to the desert/wilderness with Him.... I have felt the sting of depression, the barrenness of aloneness, the emptiness of the futile things of life... Unable to push myself or pull myself up by my bootstraps I fell at His feet, empty and in need...and He came... He is still coming. I had someone tell me once that they had been given a word about me when praying for me...that He would use me to give hope to the hopeless. How can I give hope to the hopeless if I have not felt hopeless? He allowed me to feel the barrenness and hopelessness in order to show me where there was hope...

You are in a good place, though it feels like it's not.
He hears the cries of our hearts to know Him and answers them so different than we expect....

I feel your pain.


Anonymous said...

That is soooo good, thank you, I needed that. Always in my prayers,

Denise said...

Be at peace......... He has always gone before and prepared the way... He always has our best at heart regardless of the road we travel....... To whom is forgiven much, much is required... Be the grace that we have received, we offer........

I have been been away for a while but always enjoy your posts....

Donetta said...

BIG Hug~