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Thursday, August 23, 2007

I AM Lesson 13

Join Lisa over at The Preacher's Wife for our Bible Study


1. Do you struggle with a sense of self-worth? How do you perceive this has affected the way you are able to 'keep your head upright'? If not, do you know someone who suffers in this area?

Self worth use to be and still can be… a biggie for me…. To the point that it even effected my posture. I lived with the voices of “you aren’t fit to breathe the same air….” , “I wished you had never been born”…. And “If you try a little harder, you could look like her or her… you could have a body like so and so…”and so the bar would rise higher and higher each time, until I fell over in exhaustion, defeat and in just tears of unworthiness.

And my shoulders would slump just a little lower. My mind would wonder. My heart would crumble. And my world would grow a little darker.

2. What are you most afraid of? Does this fear affect the way you move through life? (Ex. Are you overprotective with children? Afraid to take risks?)

Fear of the dark… always… right up there…even as an adult, I hate it. But as a child, it would terrify me to a true panic attack. One day some years ago, a friend read scripture to me…”Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of the darkness, but rather expose them.” (Ephesians 5:11) For in the darkness, there is evil.

All of the devastating, life changing events of my life… happened during the late hours.... during the darkest nights. “Expose them.. to the Light” to my Jesus.

3. What is one of the most marvelous ways God has provided a need? I can't wait to hear your stories on this one!

During the darkest time of my life, I had just about given up on God, religion, church and Christians, as a new Christian. But my church, well God’s church had just split. There were angry Deacons & church members who could not agree on certain things for the church. I had seen more than I cared to and I really did not want any more to do with “church.”

I had a dear friend that was also hurting; invite me to a Grace Ministries seminar. I thought what do I have to lose? That was in 2001. I ended up going through a two year internship and now I am a Christian Counselor which is really just a bi-product because I was totally reformed, transformed and renewed in spirit. I would have never experienced any of this had all this not happened at church. Nor would I have understood my place of ''need to be healed'' had I not gone through my journey.

4. Steve Brown, a Moody Broadcasting Bible Teacher, is one of the first people I ever heard teach the concept that God was not mad at me. I grew up in a denomination that led me to believe He was in a continuous state of disappointment over my failures. How about you? Though in your heart you know God says He loves you, does Satan in your mind ever try to convince you otherwise?

Our Concept of God is very interesting…. Ever compare God to our image of our parents or parental figure? If your parents were disciplinarians, then God sometimes comes across like that…

If our parents were very loving, then maybe God is very loving…

Also, how were we brought up in church… sometimes, our concept is skewed a little based on that image…

A great book for people brought up in very legalistic backgrounds is the Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse…

Yes, I’m avoiding this questions but I will say, I now know.. God is very loving…. Unconditionally… period…I have learned to trust Him…but it has been a journey.

5. How close are you to your own Promised Land? Not at all, 1/2 way, almost there? By this I mean the place of abundant living and effectiveness here on earth, not the ultimate fulfillment in Glory!

Though I hope you are going to heaven, I don't want it to be today! :)

My Promise Land is right here…. It is what I make it…I have today, this moment.. and I make it what I want it to be… for I am living the eternal life right now…Period…


7 little hearts from you...:

Denise said...

Thanks for sharing your beautiful heart my friend. I love you.

Amanda said...

How do my children perceive God through the way I parent them? Wow you really made me think. Thanks so much for all your encouraging words.

Etta said...

You're testimony is truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing.

Cyndee@Riezzee's Place said...

My answers are finally up. The end of the summer is so busy - returning to work and all.

Thanks for the reminder about our perceptions of God being like our own parents. I guess that my family held things against you - no matter how long ago the "offense" happened. Maybe that explains why I struggle with forgiveness.


MiPa said...

"My Promise Land is right here…. It is what I make it…I have today, this moment.. and I make it what I want it to be… for I am living the eternal life right now…Period… "

Well said, thank you!

The Preacher's Wife said...

as usual, your insights are thought provoking!

thanks for being a part of this study, connie!


Susanne said...

Awesome answers dear friend!! Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful heart with us!