Today,,, I am taking a day with my Jesus.....
A day of rest... a day to alone with Him..
A day of thanks...of gratitude for 48 years He has given me on earth. For on this very day I made my debut.
So Today, I want to honor it by spending time alone with my Jesus.
Blessings,
Connie
PS.. in case you are wondering... I have started the day listening to Christmas music.. yes honoring my Savior's birth.... smile...
Now that I have done it and read about it, I"m not surprised.. it's me...
This was really fun... thank you Lisa for doing this... this was a lot of work...
Blossoms....
Connie
(Matthew 6:34) "So do not
worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." NASB
Today on my to do list, let’s see:
I shall, yea--here it is, I shall worry!
After all, I’m sure God, You are very busy. You may have even forgotten the small details of my life. So let me just help You.
Just kidding God....I actually want to tell You how I"m learning not to worry.
The other day I found out our son is being referred to Egleston in Atlanta to see a Pediatric Specialist. A year or two ago, I might have fallen apart at that news. But many roads have been traveled since then. I have seen my Abba take the reigns over and over again, not just in my life but in others. I have watched the parents of Caroline Busby, Ivey Sirmans and Romann Cairns walk new roads and trust God with each step. I’m not saying it’s easy but their faith has been incredible. As with anyone, they have good days and bad days. Just like I’m sure I may.
No parent wishes to see their child go through a painful journey that they may be facing. But what peace in knowing that our Papa is in control. Remember those Sunday drives when our Daddy would drive us out on a country road? Or in my case, drive us to the beach. We knew Daddy was there, and he had us safely buckled in. We were cared for. We were loved. It’s like that when we let our Abba take the reigns.
I’ll leave you with a few lines from a beautiful song from Nicole Mullens, My Redeemer Lives
"Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning
Who told the ocean you can only come this far?
Who showed the moon where to hide 'til evening
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?"
This is how I know my Redeemer lives
That is so powerful.. I never thought about it... and call it what you may, gravitation pull, but I call it God....
Blessings......
Connie
(Romans 6:1-2) "What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase?May it never be!..."NASB
Yesterday as I was pulling out of a parking lot at the music room (that is another devotional), I noticed a woman trying to pull into a space (which wasn't exactly an allotted parking spot) next to me. Slowly, she eased (and I do mean eased) her car in trying to avoid a rather large concrete post. Little by little she inched her car closer trying to pull her car out of the roadway; however, she continued to come mighty close to that post. Yes, by now this whole scene has mesmerized me. Why? I am not sure but nonetheless, I am and I realize I am holding my breath as she continues her parking 101.
At one point, I even think why doesn't she just stop! It is obvious she is going to hit the post. And no sooner that it was out of my mind (since I didn't actually say it) it happened, she hit the post. My first thought, ok maybe my second thought was to roll down the window of my jeep and say yell, "Tell me it just ain't so, you didn't do that", but then I thought better of it. Because that was my life I just witnessed. Blatant sin!
A little sin-- no big deal-- we have the grace of God-- a little more sin-- you got it…. Sure we are forgiven, it says so in the Bible. But what about natural consequences? What happens when we crash and burn? What about each time we cross the line? Addictions? No on starts out as an addict. It starts out just a little here and a little there and before long you have hit a concrete wall.
What I didn't mention earlier was that in the parking lot, this woman had many other options to park in. Why she chose this particular one, I just don't know.
We, too, have a choice, as we are included in Christ's sin-conquering death, through His life-saving resurrection. (Romans 6, The Msg)
Where will you park your life?
Connie
(Matthew 6:30-33) "If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met." The Msg.
Thinking back on my childhood, I was in such awe of myself. I had this vision that I was a perfect student. More like this perfect little angel. Perfect child. Straight A's. I was every teachers dream. And of course, my parents favorite daughter. (Ok, my parents are thinking they have opened the wrong email) You can see that I obviously didn't have a humble bone in my body.
Then some years ago, my mother did the unthinkable. She brought a stack of my belongings to me from my childhood. And in that stack were my old report cards. Perfect, I thought. Here is the evidence to once prove my beliefs. Slowly, as I sat in the floor, I read through each report card. My grades read through like reading the alphabet. I didn't know you could get a Z. Maybe it was "Z" for zealous, what was that? And in the comments, "If Connie could just sit still". "If Connie wouldn't talk so much", "If Connie would just LISTEN". There I sat totally defeated. No angel here. If it hadn't read my name, I would have tried to convince you I had my sister’s report card. Sorry, Lynn!
As I am sitting here before my Papa, I am no different today. Sometimes, I think I am all that with my Abba. But if report cards were handed out, it might read, "Connie, if you could just 'Be still and know that I am God'". You see, I am still running ahead of my Papa. I still cannot rest in knowing He's in control. I think that He has not answered my prayers in Connie's time, so I will help Him. I wonder where He is. What a mess! Standing in the mess, I call out, "Papa, is this really my report card, is this really how it is?"
I am humbled by the truth. I sit and embrace its' truth. In Your mercy, I find that I have not missed out on anything. I just needed to wait on You.
It's not about making the grade, it's about God's-best.
How would your report card read?
Connie
First, how are you going to respond to this gift? Second, what are you going to do when it comes time to wear it in public (and you will be expected to wear it in public—not wearing or taking it back for exchange is NOT an option).
Hey, out there... all of you can play...more the merrier... so come on...you know you want to!
Happy Birthday to My Precious Husband....
In My Father’s Eyes
In your mother’s womb, you grew, (Psalm 139)
your brown hair and eyes of blue.
God prepared you a journey of best,
where you could find a path of rest. (Matt 11:30)
But the winds picked up and blew your way,
and soon the path you chose had become disarray.
The creeks had dried up and the sun grew hot.
And you thought just maybe you’d give home another shot.
You see, anger had seeped through your every pore,
closing out God from every door.
I heard you cry, "It isn’t fair."
So there on my knees, God heard my prayer.
Because one year ago, Abba answered your tears
and in His love, carried off your fears.
For it was then for the first time, that you looked into your father’s eyes
and finally after a lifetime, there are no more why’s.
And now you say that, "I have seen the love of my father’s eyes.
Can this only be a taste of what it will be like when I meet my
Heavenly Father in the Heavenly skies?"
Happy Birthday to my precious husband, Brad
Born: April 13, yes it was a Friday.. great things happen on these days.
"for such a time as this" (Esther 4:14 – that would be me--you were chosen for me)
I love you
Connie (Esther)
2007
(One year ago this month, Brad met his earthly father for the first time. The reunion has been one of the most incredible love. It has released Brad of tremendous anguish, answered many questions and has shown him true Godly love)
Here is a devotional from one year ago.... praise God we are able to fast forward to today..
(1 Peter 2:9) - "But you are a chosen people, ... a people belonging to God, ......who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."
For the past seven years (now 8), my best friend has lived in darkness. The darkness of not knowing. My best friend found out that the father that had raised him was not his biological father. His whole being had been shattered. A world of darkness slowly crept around him leaving him feeling very much alone.
No longer belonging to anyone, really. But God would take him on an emotional journey to find his Heavenly Father-- first. "Chosen... belonging to God"
Before the death of his father that raised him, they resolved much hurt that occurred over the years. Then his father embraced him as a loving father, taking him in his arms as his very own. A tender sweet moment cherished between the two.
He now has received the love of two fathers.
That was several years ago and just this weekend, there was finally the closure to answered prayers that my friend has been calling out to his Abba for answers. My friend called his biological father. And the father said, "Well, I'll be" and they were finally united. Then the tears fell and they were tears of joy. The fear that kept them apart, was now gone.
Now there is the love of three fathers.
But the story does not end here either. It has really just begun. But only our Heavenly Father knows the ending. And the prayers are one that I will pray for daily. Because only God knows why He has brought them together after all these years.
You see, this man is my husband.
These lives have been touched by the hand of God. Out of darkness their lives will shine.
A great story will be told!
and it has been....
2 Samuel 12:18 “…on the seventh day the child died…”
I prayed for sometime asking God, why. And eventually, as faithful as my Abba is, He did reveal His answer through His whispers of time.
I worked as an Operating Room Nurse years ago, as a new nurse I did many C-sections and D&C's. With that comes the tragedy of late term miscarriages, stillborns, premature births and children born with severe birth defects. As a nurse, I was expected to stand strong and deal with the situation. I remember many times holding a baby that had died or would soon die and looking at the perfectly formed child wondering what could have happened. The child looked so beautiful, so tender and so angelic; there I would ask God why.
Then, I would hand the baby to its’ mom and family. There the family would grieve. The cries from the babies’ mom and dad still haunt me. Their grief is not anything one can understand except through experience.
I did not realize at that time how healthy this was for the family to be with their baby as much as they needed. I was forced (I was told to be professional) to remain intact where really I wanted to go sit somewhere and just cry. Do you know how painful it is to hold in tears, your throat tightens up to where you feel you can’t breath, that you may be strangled by your own sobs?
I guess my immaturity in my role as a nurse, that as a very young mother and also as a (at the time I thought I was) Christian, I regret not knowing I could have played a bigger part in these parents’ lives. I wished I could turn back the clock. I wished I would have known it was ok to grieve with these parents. I wished…
But now that I know there is something out there for these parents, I can give back what I couldn’t do many years ago….
This is my gift to them….my way of saying I am sorry if I wasn’t there for you then but I will try to be now.
As our Papa says, “I AM… so that you won’t have to be.” I will pray for the I AM to embrace you when you think you can't go on.
Blessings to this foundation……
Connie Barris, R.N.
Apparently because I have 3 vowels in my name I got randomized by Linda over at 2nd cup of coffee, LOL. I told her I thought that the random thing was illegal but she is choosing to live life on the edge.
And actually Linda, live in the disappointment of knowing I don’t vote for the American Idols but I am a die hard fan. And I do complain about who is voted off... typical nonvoter.
Now after answering these 5 questions…. I would suggest a CT scan of your brain, as I couldn’t come up with anything even remotely so difficult. I would probably be more like, who was the first boy you kissed,,, you know pretty stupid. But not you, I am now looking for advil because my head is pounding from thinking so hard.
1. The one thing I would do if I had the courage? I would sky dive… Because it looks exhilarating. But I don’t do it because I am terrified of heights. And what is
The worst that could happen?.. … well, hmmmm… let’s see…. I could…. DIE!!
2. The worst date? That would be when my first husband and I were dating. It should have been a sign but oh no… I didn’t pick up on it… we went to the fair.
As we were riding a ride, I looked over at him and he was just a smilin’…. The next thing I knew, he threw up all over me…. I should have left him then.
3. You are at a nationally televised Presidential White House press conference as part of the press corps. President Bush calls on you because you are waving your hand around like a wild woman. You stand, but suddenly, your heart races, your mouth dries, and you're seeing stars. You can't remember your brilliant question or utter a single syllable. The only thing you are able to do is sing. Remaining silent is not an option. What will you sing and why?
Mercy Me
Word of God Speak
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
4. If you were named "Supreme Blogging Commander of the Official World Wide Webbings of Intranets" or some such other prestigious title, what is the first rule you would lay down as non-negotiable?
I could probably add several thou shalts to the blogging world... there are some rude people... and you can get your feelings hurt if you let it.... but...
Thou shalt respond to blogger regarding comment(s) left when a response is required or suggested or sensitive.
5. What's your favorite color? NOT!!! Instead: You are hiring someone for a position in your company. Nevermind which position. It's just your job to hire the best candidate and then tell your superior why you chose that person. If you choose unwisely, you get fired. The pressure is on. Which one will you choose?
My favorite color is slate blue… ha…
Nah, I have an option of hiring four characters.
Candidate A has brought her IPOD in to listen to while you are interviewing her.
Candidate B wants to arm wrestle you
Candidate C throws up on your desk and then keeps on talking like nothing happened.
Candidate D states if he is hired, he'll demonstrate his loyalty by getting a tattoo of the corporate logo.
these are actual situtations that have occurred.
Now down to business,,,,in my business of medicine, I would hire C.
That shows me that "she" (we know a "he" could not handle the puk--disclaimer if a he reads this,,, it's just a joke... I have male nurses working with me) will be able to go right on with business when someone throws up on their shoe, in their shoe or on their clothes.
I don’t like for the nurses to get all yuked out by a little throw up…and I don’t want them to slow down to go wash their shoes off… but to keep on truckin’
She’s my lady……I’d hire her on the spot. LOL.
so... if anyone out there wants to be randomized... let me know...
You think it would be a simple act. That it would be easy ------
That as compared to opening one's hand and releasing the end of a rope.....
or
dropping heavy baggage that one has carried many hours through the day.
But instead it's like when we run a race and someone moves the finish line further and further away.
It is like rerouting a Class V rapid river that requires a tour guide (due to its danger) back upstream....
What should be so simple is one of the most difficult things in life!!
I would rather smack someone then deal with this. I would rather bite my tongue off then step forward and step on my pride and humility that comes forth from this act.
What? Why, Papa?
This forgiveness You talk about. If I pay attention to You, You really did teach us how to forgive, didn't You?
Or if I do forgive, then I'll never forget it. We think those two go hand in hand.... But they don't, do they? Our brains aren't wired that way--we aren't going to forget--so forget trying to forget-
but what we do with the memory can create a path of healing or destroy us in the bitter decay of its disease.
Forgiveness---How do we forgive? How did Jesus do it?
1st-- He validated His concerns, fears and pain
Remember in the Garden
"Father, take this cup" (Luke 22:42)
It is ok for us to validate our hurts... To embrace them.. they were / are real
2nd --Jesus surrendered His rights as the Son of God
He walked- carrying the Cross to His death.
How many of us could have really done that? I would have
Hopped down off the cross and said, "No way"
He totally surrendered all His rights
This is the tough part,,, I surrender my rights to be heard, the right to be understood and yes, even the right to be right, ouch!
3rd-- Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, ......" (Luke 23:34)
even as He died on the cross, beaten, spit on, humiliated, He forgave us
and we say we can't forgive?? Oh, yes we can....!!!!
Forgiveness is releasing someone of all debts....knowing you may be hurt again....
Forgiveness is not... with the expectation that the person will ever own up to their wrongs, or ask for forgiveness.
Just look at Jesus...
Blessings,
Connie
And Abba cried,
"...Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,
And come along.
'For behold, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone.
'The flowers have already appeared in the land;
The time has arrived for pruning the vines,
And the voice of the turtledove
has been heard in our land.
'The fig tree has ripened its figs,
And the vines in blossom have given
forth their fragrance.
Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one..." (Song of Solomon 2:11-14)
Connie
And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them....." we had beat Him, tortured Him and He still asked His Papa to forgive us in His dying breath.
Those three days apart from His Abba must have seemed like eternity.
To the people, all hope seemed to be gone.
Today, let us be in prayer.... is there any unforgiveness in your life? What a great day to forgive, the hour is ticking....
On this day 2000 years ago, there was SILENCE..
Today, I will observe my Savior and His love for me---
For we are His beloved.
Connie
We know the rest of the story, don't we.... while those that stood by the cross, lost all hope... we know....and we can live in that hope...
Blessings this Easter.....
For God So Loved The World.....John 3:16
The Holiest Week in History....
Blessings,
Connie
(Psalm 34:18) ".... If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there..."
(Psalm 23) " ....You have bedded me down in lush meadows...." (Msg)
There are just some days that I wonder why. I wonder why I am here. Why do I even bother? The old voices creep into my head, "I wish you were never born." "You are so unworthy." It's a struggle and I have to remind myself who I am.
I learned not long ago, however, that I was chosen.By the grace of God, the painful journey of brokenness, a dear friend and mentor, I slowly learned that God chose me to be His beloved daughter. I am worthy.
For you are my offspring. (Acts 17:28 )
I knew you even before you were conceived. (Jeremiah 1:4-5 )
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14 )
I knit you together in your mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13)
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. (1 John 3:1 )
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. (1 John 3:1)
So I am not a mistake. I was meant to be born.
"So much My love, I created this beautiful meadow so that you may pick each flower unique in color, presenting a special fragrance that represents that of My love. Choose whatever you wish. They are yours. I painted them for you. My beloved daughter."
Thank you Papa,
Connie
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